“The Stains We Made” — A Short Story

Too painful to even look at, I put it near the edge of my front lawn. The stains slowly camouflage into the kaki material as the raindrops leave darkened spots on the couch. I feel so empty, as if she had stuck her hand into my ribcage and pulled my heart out, leaving a hole. I’ve never felt this sad, this powerless, this alone, yet surrounded by so many people, in my entire left. I look at the couch’s stains and counted them, counted them again, then again. Each one brought back memories that should have been happy ones. Memories that should have been the beginning of a happily ever-after. But instead, they’re the beginning of a lovely nightmare.

Just yesterday, everything was so perfect. I didn’t know that everything could tumble down so quickly. She was in the corner, going over her final sketches to submit to her egotistical boss. It was around seven o’clock and a gorgeous sunset was about to take place over the valleys in the distance. We had rented a beach house for the weekend; the nicest place I could think of that didn’t cost too much. I had prepared the perfect evening: a romantic walk on the beach, a delightful surprise, then a dinner by candlelight once the sun had settled down.

I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her from behind. I leaned my chin onto her shoulder and heard her expire as she let go of all the tension she had been carrying. “Cass,” I whispered into her ear.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m not supposed to be working,” she admitted, “but I just need to hand in these papers first thing tomorrow.” She sighed and shook her head, as if she had disappointed me. “I know that this weekend was supposed to be our romantic getaway.”

I smiled to myself as she said that. I just loved everything about her. Even just the way she held her pencil lit up fireworks and brought be so much joy. “Don’t worry about it. And the weekend’s not over yet.”

“I won’t be too long, I promise.” She turned her head around to give me a small peck on the lips. It was a thanks-for-waiting-for-me kind of kiss. But I still kept my arms around her and let silence dominate for a few moments. “Cass,” I finally whispered to her once again.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go for a walk.”

“But –”

“Don’t worry about it. Just come.”

When the sun was starting to hit the tips of mountains, and the sky was an orangish pink, I got down on one knee.

“Cassie Bernard.” She switched her gaze from the reflection of the glowing sun on the ocean to the man in front of her. She was shocked, I almost never call her by her full name.

“I’m not going to say that I always knew that you were the one, because I didn’t. I’m not going to say that I’m the only one that can make you happy, because I’m not. But what I am going to say, Cassie Jane Bernard, is that I promise to love you as long as my heart beats. Every day with you has been and will be a new adventure. And I really like adventures.”

I pulled out the ring and said the four most anticipated words. “Will you marry me?” It was the most magical moment of my life, and she hasn’t even said “yes” yet. I saw the smile on her face get bigger and bigger. I was going to get my happily-ever after.

But then, there was a pause. It was longer than I though it would be, and suddenly it felt like I had been on my knees for hours. “No,” she lightly said. “I — I can’t marry you. You’re just not you anymore. I’ve seen you transform into this person who cares too much about what others think. You care more about popularity and reputation than… well, than me,” she replied hesitantly.

“That’s not true. Cassie, I love you and I care. I care so, so much, you have no idea. And all that stuff about reputation, it’s part of the business. If I want to be successful, it’s just something I need to do, you know that.”

She shook her head, refusing his excuses. “When I first met you, we’d do crazy things together. I fell in love with you because you didn’t care about what others thought of you. You’d sing on the top of your lungs in front of a whole crowd and say stupid things. But we want different things, Camuel. You want to be popular and famous and that’s great. But I’m not fit for that kind of life in front of cameras and I can’t watch you become this person. So, I’m saying “no”. No, I will not marry you.”

She ran off towards the beach house, leaving her footprints in the sand and a slight scent of her eau de rose perfume. I haven’t seen her since. When I got back to the house, about a half hour later, she had taken her car and had left.

Now, I look back at the couch on my lawn. There’s a stain on the right cushion.

It was a few days after she had moved back in. We were playing Mario Kart 8 on a rainy Saturday. She was slightly beating me, but I was catching up to her in the race. Though, I didn’t mind losing, because seeing her so cheerful when she beat me was worth it.

“I won!” Cassie cheered as she over-excitedly jumped up and down.

“That’s not fair! You’ve been practicing without me!”

“Well, isn’t that just too bad. You just don’t want to admit that I won,” she playfully teased. Just as she said that, she knocked over our dinner on the coffee table, causing it to land onto our couch and tainting it with a fat tomato sauce stain on the right cushion. Not wanting to ruin the beautiful moment we haven’t had in so long, I just laughed. Once she had seen me laughing, she joined in too.

“Ah! I’m so sorry. I’ll clean it up,” she said. I quickly pulled her towards me and wrapped my arms around her waist form behind, preventing her from moving forward. “I’ve got it, Cass.”

She giggled as she resisted my force holding her back and tried to grab a towel to clean. Eventually, she realized she was stuck and gave in. Cassie turned around and softly collided her lips into mine. It started soft, but slowly transformed into something more passionate. It intensified every emotion inside of me, even the ones I didn’t know I had towards her. I felt her hands playing with my hair and I loosened my grip around her waist. After a few minutes, she pulled away and leaned her forehead against mine. I closed my eyes, recovering from our kiss.

“Gotcha,” she whispered. She slipped away from my hands and went into the kitchen to grab a towel. It was one of my favourite nights.

The rain around me is getting heavier and heavier, yet I still won’t go back in. Each memory brings me back pain, but the tiniest bit of joy that accompanies it keeps me going. There’s a coffee stain on the other cushion.

We were in a heated fight. We had come back from a public event and she said that she didn’t recognize me at the event. She said that I had changed, and not in a good way.

“You’re trying to fit in with everyone else. You’re becoming someone who only cares about popularity and reputation and what others think of you!” Cassie shouted.

“That’s just me in front of the cameras. I’m not like that in real life, you know that. It’s just so that others will like me,” I argued.

Cassie came back from the kitchen with a coffee mug in hand. “So, what if the other musicians don’t like you? It doesn’t matter, just be yourself! Life isn’t just about how much others like you!”

“But part of it is. If I want to make money and — ”

“I can’t believe you just said that!” she yelled as she flung her hands into the air. The coffee spilled all over, most of it on the couch, but some of it on me. “Ah!” I cried out from the hot coffee on my leg. Cassie, too angry to do anything about it, continued her argument.

“It’s just fame, reputation, popularity and money for you, isn’t it? I don’t want to deal with this right now. You know what, I’m going to sleep at a friend’s tonight.” She marched off towards the entrance and grabbed her purse.

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked her, wishing for her to stay.

“Change, Cam, and stop caring about other’s opinions. Call me when the old Cam is back.” And with that, she stormed off.

That was the biggest fight I had with her. It was the final argument to many previous little fights before. And all of these fights started once I had published my first album.

The last stain is on the top left cushion. It’s a smaller one, but a happy one.

It was the first time that I had brought her back to my place. I tried my best to make her a good meal, but we just ended up ordering pizza later on. We were on the couch, eating pizza, and watching “Mission Impossible”, a classic movie she surprisingly hadn’t seen yet. But I wasn’t watching it, I had already seen it a thousand times. I was watching her through the corner of my eye, but not in a creepy way. In the kind of way that you look at someone when you’re in love with them. Her dirty blond hair cut to below her shoulders, her freckles, the way she laughed… it made me love her even more. And I will keep on loving her every day, no matter where she is.

I’m glad for the rain, since no one is able to notice the tears streaming down my face. By now, I’m the odd man lying on the couch that he’s about to throw out, in the rain. There aren’t any stains left to remember, but there is one part of the story I haven’t recalled yet. The beginning.

I was at my favourite amusement park, getting an ice cream. I go to amusement parks alone, since none of my friends enjoy the rides. I finished my ice cream and looked around, wondering what ride to do next. There were so many people around. I could hear music playing further away. Having nothing better to do, I followed the source. When I reached, I just started singing over the track, screaming at the top of my lungs, making up lyrics as I went on. People looked at me weirdly as they passed by. But there was one girl, sitting on a bench a few feet away and eating an ice cream, listening to my horrible singing. She didn’t look at me oddly, as if I was crazy. She just waved when our eyes met. I stopped singing, sat next to her and said, “that’s my favourite ice cream flavour.”

“Mine too.” And I didn’t know it yet, but that’s when I fell in love with her. And now I’ve made a terrible mistake and I’ve lost her forever.